Spring brings a rebirth to everything. The leaves, grass, and flowers have another shot of showing their beauty to the world. The same can be true for us. We can start with a fresh mind and show up with something new. Maybe you want to bring attention to something small; diet, exercise, your attitude about work or school. Maybe you want to create a healthy habit.
For me I want to put focus on removing a bad habit from my life. That bad habit is fear. Fear of failure, fear of judgement, fear of loss. When fear begins to creep into my head I begin to question everything. Should I say this? Should I do that? Fear was present when we opened the studio. I was questioning whether we could do this and/or if we were doing everything “right”. These questions affected how I made decisions and how I communicated with people around me. When I look back on that time I find that my mind was a complete fog. I didn’t take the time to treat myself well. My diet and exercise routines feel off. I kept to myself and forgot the importance of connection to my support group and loved ones. It took me months to realize how my fear had evolved into a sort of depression and was limiting my life. I remember the day I woke up, February 4th. Jared and I went skiing and I remembered the importance of having fun!
Since then I have realized yoga gives me the ability to recognize when fear is showing up. Sometimes I repeat the quote “Where energy goes, attention flows.” by Baron Baptiste. This helps me remember to remove whatever I am worrying about from my mind because I could inadvertently create what I am afraid of happening. If this does not work I will try to practice, go for a run, or another activity to release the worry and anxiety. Once I do this I have a clear head and a stable foundation. Unfortunately these “tools” don’t always work. In those cases I still end up in a bad mood, creating stories in my head or attacking those closest to me. I also have the ability to sabotage my day by not exercising or eating poorly. Damn those girl scout cookies, peanut butter eggs, and cadbury eggs!
This is my goal for spring, to let go of fear and worry. None of us know what the future will bring. We do know that fear brings poor decisions, anxiety, and thus creates larger problems. With the absence of fear who knows how big we can be in our own lives.
Where is fear showing up in your life?